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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Brace Yourself

Gentlemen, this may be the most difficult thing you read this year. A 52 man in Tioga-Nicetown (remember that name), Pennsylvania, recently was awakened in the middle of the night to find - brace yourself - his wife clawing at his genitalia with her bare hands. When she was done, she had, uh, removed "two parts" of his privates (the story doesn't say which two but...).

Luckily, doctors were able to re-attach things and "repair the damage," according to the story. Uh, repair it physically, maybe. Not a chance in hell the emotional scars will heal. Ever. Put it this way, Vietnam vets don't have have shit on this guy. I promise you his nightmares are worse than even John McCain's. Especially when he describes the ordeal this way: "I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."

The man, only identified as Howard, said his wife is bi-polar and she did it because she thought he was cheating on her. When he first arrived at the hospital, doctors listed his condition as critical but upgraded him to stable. Stable? Bullshit. Howard will never be stable again.

HERE is an interview with the man on the local news. The video starts by showing him arriving home from the hospital, walking up the steps to his house. If you don't cringe with each step he takes, well, you're simply not male.

Thanks to Casey for the tip (ok, maybe "tip" was a bad choice of words here).

4 comments:

COWolverine said...

"His wife is bi-polar and she did it because she thought she was cheating on him..."

I believe you meant to type "HE was cheating on HER" or else her mental problems go way beyond being bi-polar to some really bat-shit crazy.

Yost said...

Oops. Thanks for the catch, CO.

Anonymous said...

"His wife is bi-polar and she did it because she thought she was cheating on him..."

I believe you meant to type "HE was cheating on HER" or else her mental problems go way beyond being bi-polar to some really bat-shit crazy.

Now, that is funny!!

-Buckeye fan

Anonymous said...

Get this woman a job as a librarian. We'd be putting out fires all over the place.