Gymboree is for Pussies: Presenting Cobra-ee

If Gymboree is turning your kid into some share freak who plays nice and gets along with other kids, the M Zone has found an answer for you.

In Southern California's San Fernando Valley, former karate instructor John Kreese has started kiddie gym Cobra-ee that, according to their website, aims to "win our children back from the evil spectre of videogames. It is time to put our collective feet down and get our kids to stop mindlessly staring at a screen pretending to beat someone up. And go back to beating people up for real. There's no two ways about it. We can't expect children to terrorize playgrounds from their living room sofa. It's just not possible."

Well, if Benny is looking for players to jump off the sidelines to make tackles, this might be a good first step.