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Friday, March 31, 2006

So Bad It's Good: The New M Zone Fight Song

When I was at Michigan, somehow, someway (I've long since forgotten the exact details), one of my college roommates stumbled across a song by 80s heavy metal band, W.A.S.P. called ANIMAL (Fuck Like a Beast). The tune was so bad, it was good and it became an inside joke at our place at school. We laughed our asses off each time we heard it. Hell, it was even our "closer" at keg parties (and you thought a bunch of drunks screaming "Mony, Mony" was messed up).

Long story short, I was talking to my former college roommate recently, taking that walk down memory lane that often occurs when one chats with an old friend but a couple times a year; as college recedes futher and further into life's rear view mirror. Well, one of us busted into a F.L.A.B. lyric and we started laughing like we were juniors all over again.

After we got off the phone, on a whim, I went to YouTube to search for W.A.S.P. tunes and, lo and behold, someone had actually posted live concert footage for this masterpiece! Apparently I wasn't the only one who liked to hum along to "Fuck Like a Beast" during the work day and at social functions.

Thus, I decided to share the genius that is W.A.S.P. and make this old college favorite the unofficial official M Zone fight song.

Now, to truly enjoy a well crafted song such as this one, I think it helps to be able to sing along to the lyrics. And these lyrics, well, they rank right up there with best of Lennon and McCartney. So get ready, oh loyal M Zone reader, as we proudly present...

ANIMAL (Fuck Like a Beast) by W.A.S.P.

I got pictures of naked ladies
Lying on their beds
I whiff that smell and a sweet convulsion
Starts a-swelling inside my head
I'm making artificial love for free
I start to howl, I'm in heat
I moan, I growl and the hunt drives me crazy
I FUCK LIKE A BEAST!

I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love

I'm on the prowl and i watch you closely
I lie waiting for you
Well, I'm a wolf with the sheepsskin's clothing
I lick my chops and you're tasting good
I do whatever i want to do, ya
I'll nail your ass to the sheets
A pelvic thrust and the sweat starts to sting ya
I FUCK LIKE A BEAST!

I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
Come ride, savage seduction Ride, ride, ride!

(INSERT 80S GUITAR RIFF)

I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love
I come around, round, i come feel your love
Tie you down, down, i come steal your love

(INSERT BAD DRUM RIFF)

Animal!


Now that you have the lyrics memorized, sit back, relax and sing along at the top of your lungs (especially if you work in an office with cubicles).



Good luck getting this song out of your head this weekend. Sorry 'bout that.

And special thanks to Baggy Pants Devil for updating the M Zone logo with the threatening, scary heavy metal umlaut proving for all the blogosphere to see that, from this day forward, we officially rock!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. That was bad. I'll stick to Ratt, Cinderella, and Poison.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

I think that's what VH1 calls, "awesomely bad." It's now a toss up as to which is a better parody of a heavy metal band, that clip or "This is Spinal Tap?"

I've e-mailed in a new logo for the site. What's heavy metal without the heavy metal umlaut?

That got me thinking that maybe Michigan should do the same, anything to change image from "underacheiving" to "ridiculously scary.

Although most heavy metal bands were merely "satanically misogynistic."

Benny Friedman said...

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm compelled to reveal that after Yost played this song for me from his iPod, the next song that came up was "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John. That was followed by Duran Duran.

Yost said...

Benny,

I'd rather you revealed my real name on this site.

Anonymous said...

The Headless Children was a bonified classic.

Yost said...

Anon,

"Heh...heheheheh. You said, 'Bone.'"

Anonymous said...

Up until now you site has been close to brilliant. So why are you acting like a 12-year-old and posting crap like this. Actually, that's an insult to 12-year-olds becaues they're probably more sophisticated than this. It's dumb and boring. And lose the stupid German umlaut.

Yost said...

I guess you get what you pay for, Anon.

AZBuxH8r said...

Keep the umlaut...at least for a little while. (This coming from one of your few-and-far-between 'hot chick' fans.) Love your posts - you make my day!! Rock on.