Rants, comments, thoughts and funny - mostly funny - on all things Michigan and college football.

If you have ideas, tips, links or pictures for the blog, e-mail us at: MichiganZone at gmail dot com.

Thanks for checking out the M Zone. And if you enjoy the site, please pass the link on to a friend or two. We'd sure appreciate it.

Twitter: @MZoneBlog

Facebook/MZoneBlog

Best Of Tat and Tresselgate

M Zone Videos

Best Of MZone 2.0

Best Of The Original MZone

Tosu Favorites

MZone Archive

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A Nation Remembers: Five Days in March

On Wednesday, March 22, eight jokes from the M Zone were used on Colin Cowherd's nationally syndicated ESPN Radio show. For five days, the nation held it's collective breath as this crisis continued to escalate. Would Cowherd attack from the flank with another email assault? Would the MZone boys fire back with another PhotoShop salvo? There seemed to be no end in sight until the crisis ended with Mr. Cowherd's March 27th radio broadcast.


Reporter Bob Pickler was embedded at MZone headquarters during the entire Cowherd/MZone controversy. Below is his report during the final hours of the heated conflict.

Emotions were all over the map at MZone headquarters as the staff listened to ESPN Radio and Colin Cowherd's show Monday during which he gave full props to the MZone for the Wonderlic test read on his show last week. As word of Cowherd's remarks began to spread outside the MZone headquarters, church bells rang, car horns blared and one only-slightly-overweight girl even considered kissing Wangs (but didn't).

"Our long period of national suffering is now over," said co-editor Benny after returning from an undisclosed location where he rode out the conflict. MZone founder Yost had decided it was best for Benny to stay in a seperate, secure location in case ESPN brass attempted a decapitating strike against MZone HQ during the bruhaha that very nearly escalated into a donnybrook.

"It was strictly a precaution, but one we felt we needed to take," said Yost. "When the Onepeat fanatics joined the fray and started leaving comments, it was simply the prudent course of action."

College football fans across America knew something was seriously amiss when even Buckeye fans rallied around the maize and blue cause.

"That could have been us in their shoes," said O-Zone member MichiganCan LickMyBigHairy NutSack427. "But by the grace of God - and by God, I mean Tressel - that could have been one of our 'Fuck Michigan, you cock sucking faggots!' bits being read on the air with no credit. Although, we are trying to trademark "Fuck Michigan" so that will never be a problem. Either way, we supported them this time. Now that it's over, we think they're all big fags again. 4-1! We own you bitches!!"

Even Michigan State fans weighed in saying they'd support their hated intra-state rivals if it meant "we can burn couches and stuff if there are riots."

But, with a simple four and a half minute address to the nation Monday afternoon, Colin Cowherd defused the situation and the crisis was no more.

"We here at the M Zone owe a sincere debt of gratitude to all those who supported us during the darkest hours of this crisis," said an obviously relieved Yost while watching the Ohio State Video Chick clip for the 783rd time. "To Deadspin, EDSBS, MGoBlog, Fark, TuckerMax, VodkaPundit, FireJoeMorgan, DawgSports, Burnt Orange Nation, MaizeNBrew and so many others, thank you."

Rumors quickly spread that things at the MZone would now return to normal. BaggyPantsDevil was more pointed, saying, "I hope this means we can go back to semi-naked cheerleaders and shit."

23 comments:

Wangs said...

Fielding H. and Benny - Once again you start my day off with a hilarious distraction that will consume all of my time today. You bastards. Thank you.

P.S. - She had on a Michigan sweatshirt and loose fitting gray sweat pants and looked like every other girl walking around Ann Arbor - how could you tell she was slightly-over-weight?

Becky said...

Where the hell is the USC song girl cheering in this picture?

And hey! Some of us wore JEANS with our Michigan sweatshirts, dammit.

Yost said...

Beck,

Damn! Great idea. We blew that one. Our bad.

Wangs said...

Becky - that's interesting about the jeans and sweatshirts. When I was there it was strictly sweatpants and sweatshirts. Of course, I can only picture what everyone (except you) looked like in jeans - and, um, I guess I'm glad that they stuck with the sweatpants.

COWolverine said...

You know that he of course had to take the name MichiganCanLickMyBigHairyNutSack427 because there were 426 other people with that name on the Ozone already.

Yost said...

Was hoping someone else got that joke, CO Wolv. Almost put it in the text.

IC said...

What is going on under the desk with Benny? Please tell me it has nothing to do with the smile on Yost's face.

IC said...

I told you guys that you wouldn't regret investing in satellite technology.

Sure it was expensive. And it did mean we need to stay in our moms' basements for a few more months while we save up for our own place. But it did result in a very funny post.

Wangs said...

The gig is up. Benny is Yost's muse. And vice versa. It helps them relax, so that they can sleep. And then write.

Benny Friedman said...

IC and Wangs, Yost commented that he was sure someone would make an untoward comment about me being under the desk. And I'm certainly not surprised it came up. But both of us thought for sure it'd be from some Tosu fan, not two of our own contributors.

Wangs said...

Who knows you two cowboys better than IC and me? Not your "wives".

Tosu guys would just be speculating.

MGOBLUE94 said...

Tosu fans wouldn't say anything, because that is the NORM at "Brokebuck Mountain" U!

Gotta agree with Becky on the USC Cheerleader missing.

GO BLUE!

BaggyPantsDevil said...

Damn this had me laughing.

The Photoshopping is just stellar. It's all in the little details, the labels on the satelite imagery, the "DEADSPIN" on the uniform--which is so well done I didn't notice it for a while--and Orson Swindle, strapped gangsta'.

And the write up was perfect. I can't wait for the movie. Do you think you'll get credit for it?

IC said...

New Line Cinema
and Spy Glass Entertainment Present
A Spike Lee Joint
in Association with Pixar Entertainment:

"Five Days in March"

Starring:
C. Thomas Howell as Colin Cowherd
Benjamin Bratt as Benny
and William Devane as Yost
with special appearance by
Tiffani Amber Thiessen as tOSU Chick

rated NC-17 for explicit language and full-frontal plagiarism

Kyle King said...

"Tiffani Amber Thiessen as tOSU Chick"?

Dude, that warrants a "not safe for work" warning!

Thanks for the mental image. My post-lunch productivity is now officially shot.

Anonymous said...

Hee hee hee, in the tradition of ESPN, i am anoint this post as the "funniest post ever".

Anonymous said...

Sorry should read, i am anointing this post as the "Funniest post ever"

IC said...

Kyle:

Re. your comment, "My post-lunch productivity is now officially shot."

That's why we're here. That and to shoot your pre-lunch productivity as well.

Orson Swindle said...

We're looking spiffy in that photo. And white...

COWolverine said...

The Five Days in March movie is a great idea, but based on the pictures of seen of him, Cowherd could also be played by Will Arnett, G.O.B. from Arrested Development.

Yost said...

CO,

You know, he does look like Wil Arnett. Good casting!

Benny Friedman said...

And with all of his voice over work, Wil Arnett would have no trouble getting Cowherd's voice down. Good call, CO.

COWolverine said...

Thanks, though after I made my post, I googled C. Thomas and now that I see present day pictures of him, I could go either way on which actor looks more like Cowherditsomewhereelse. I guess it's good to have options (and any time I can plug anything related to Arrested Development, I'll gladly do that).

Just an FYI though, since I've been on occasional drive-bys, I'll let you know it's actually COW, or I suppose tCOW since my alma mater is an Ohio school (not to be confused with CO implying I'm in Colorado).