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Saturday, February 11, 2006

What the hell is going on at ASU?


First one of their cheerleaders goes XXX, now some ASU student is arrested AT THE LIBRARY for spanking it to Internet porn on his laptap. When the cops arrested him and asked him why he decided the ol' library was the place to view porn and whack off, the kid said, "To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn't good enough."

We here at the M Zone think he's lying. If you are friends with anybody who goes or has gone to ASU, you know studying isn't high on their agenda. Thus, the kid was probably thinking, "Hell, at least it will be empty."

Then again, maybe everybody from his dorm was at the library studying Courtney Simpson.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

He looks like he may be related to PeeWee Herman. Apparently looks aren't the only traits they share.

Benny Friedman said...

Anon, that is PeeWee Herman. We just added the Sun Devil on the sleeve and changed the lettering on the board.
At least PeeWee was caught where you'd expect such behavior. But as Yost pointed out in the post, maybe this guy was just looking for some privacy.

Anonymous said...

Benny, I am such a jackass! I should have realized that was a doctored pic of Paul Reubens. But anyway what I wanted to add is that anyone that has worked in the library profession for very long (like me) can tell you that this type of behavior is not unique to ASU. "Spanking it in the library" is an issue that is confronted eventually by all librarians and even lectures are given in library schools about handling (pun intended) such situations. SPANK ON you Sun Devil you!

Anonymous said...

Just when I thought M******* fans couldn't go any lower, they turn their football forum into a porn site. Way to go!

Yost said...

Thanks for reading, Anon.

Next year we're thinking of spitting on opposing bands and searching their team buses with bomb sniffing dogs.

It's all a part of our quest to be just like Tosu fans.

Anonymous said...

Guess when you can't win the games on the field, you have to insult another team's fans to feel superior. Stick to the porno. Y'all are better at that.

Yost said...

And I guess when you have nothing better to do, you spend all day on another team's blog seeing if they responded to your previous comments.

So, from all of us, thanks for spending your Saturday here at the M Zone. We appreciate it.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

Last Anon,

If your idea of porn is a mugshot of Paul Ruebens, you've got issues.

Yost said...

BPD,

LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Not waiting for any comments of yours. I was just wasting my time reading the rest of your smart@ss drivel that's an excuse for a sports website.

Yost said...

Anon,

Ok, first off, you're obviously not a Buckeye fan. Fans who love to wear -- yes, WEAR -- "Fuck Michigan" gear don't edit out the word "@ss" on a blog.

As for what this website is and isn't, there are plenty of sites that give straight up sports analysis and commentary. If you came here for that, well, no wonder you feel cheated. That's not what we do. We're a mix of the serious and the humorous. And if you take the humorous too seriously, well, we can't help you there.

And so you know, we here at the M Zone don't look at this as an "excuse for a sports website." We do it as an excuse to procrastinate. And judging from your numerous stops, you use it for the same purpose.

Good news is, Anon, you get what you pay for. And all those straight up sports websites are only a mouse click away.

Finally, believe it or not, we actually appreciate your comments, both good (not today) and bad (see above). It's given me an excuse not to do some work I'm supposed to be doing as I defend the honor of our little chunk of cyberspace.

Sincerely,

Your dear friends at the M Zone

PS Have a nice day

Anonymous said...

Excuse me people, let's not lose the essence of this post: Some poor bastard was arrested for jacking off in the library.
I don't know about y'all but when I wacked it in the library I feel kinda sick, but I if I was arrested for it well that would be completely humiliating.
Also wouldn't you hate to be the cop that had to arrest this bastard. I mean you wouldn't want to have to touch him or put the cuffs on him, hell he's probably got jizz(spelling?)on his hands.
So y'all see it doesn't matter who your team is b/c there's some fool out that we can all laugh at and this bastard makes us all happy that something like that hasn't happened to us...yet.
BTW Yost, I love y'all's forum!

Yost said...

Anon,

Glad you like it, Anon. And I agree: Man, does that poor cop have a story to tell when he gets home!

Yost said...

PS...

I went to college in the pre-high speed Internet connection days. We had to whack it the old fashioned way: to Playboy and other magazine. You kids today. When I was your age...

Nicole said...

Hey, it's not DI .. hell, it's not even NCAA, but at my tiny little Jesuit haven of Loyola University New Orleans we had a repeat masturbator, dubbed the Uptown Masturbator. He was at large for a few years, but finally got caught ... looking at foot fetish porn no less. Hey, at least it made writing for the campus paper interesting!

Nicole said...

Here's one of the stories...


http://maroon.loyno.edu/media/paper542/news/2003/02/07/News/The-Masturbator.Returns-362727.shtml

Yost said...

Nicole,

Allow me to state for the record that neither I, nor any of the M Zone staff have ever been to LUNO on the dates in question. Ok, we're not 100% sure about Wangs (I mean, "Wangs?") but we're pretty sure. Say...36% sure.

Yost said...

PS Although, when you think about it, aren't we all repeat masturbators?

I guess the only difference is the doing it in public part.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

Nicole,

Loved the headline "The Masturbator Returns." Sounds like the title of an awful Batman sequal.

Yost said...

Yeah, wasn't that the one w/ Clooney?