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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Letter of Protest

To: The EDSBS Crew
From: The M Zone Staff
RE: Lloyd's Weight Classification in the Coaches Death Match


First off, we love your Coaches Death Match series. Really good stuff.

But, as Brian pointed out on M Go Blog (and we had privately discussed amongst ourselves), we feel Lloyd's weight classification is wrong. Thus, we would like to officially protest Lloyd being placed in the "Meatnormous" Division with the likes of such glutanous slobs as Phil Fulmer, the fat guy from Maryland and his current opponent, Charlie Weis. For evidence, as Brian did, we direct your attention to the pictures:

If Lloyd can get two seconds put back on the clock vs. Pennsylvania State University, surely he can get his weight classification changed to a more appropriate category.

Please note: Your failure to change this oversight will force us put up the WrongWeight.com website in order to raise money for a billboard to be placed outside the USC campus proclaiming the truth about Lloyd's weight and-- uh, nevermind. Wrong, uh, story.

Anyhoo, thank you for your consideration,

The M Zone Staff


Anonymous said...

I understand the controversy and in fact agree that if we went only by the scale, Carr would never be placed in this division. However, there is another factor to consider, the Meatnormous man boobs that he sports. Plus, a fighter can always go up a division and never down. The matchup with Hips Weis proved to attractive to ignore. What I would like to see is more people giving Carr a chance in this fight as I personally think Weis would drop dead before defeating anybody, but the Domers have voted in force so far. But it is not too late.

Stranko Montana

Orson Swindle said...

We're like crabs: we always work in pairs. Hot Shots reference made, we will admit here that Carr is mismatched, and we were shoehorning him in just to write about him fighting like an Irish bareknuckle boxer, which makes us laugh just thinking about it.It was the only remaining slot we had, so there he went.

Rest assured, as a result of his admittedly jacked-up treatment, Carr will have a role to play later on in the plot.

Yost said...

Well, you heard it from the EDSBS guys themselves. So I'm urging all concerned M fans to visit their site to cast a vote for Lloyd.

Or else it's going to be yet another embarrassing early season loss for him against ND.

On second thought, if he could get it out of the way here so the game in September at least "feels" later...

I can dream, can't I?

BaggyPantsDevil said...

I posted reply number 20 and had Lloyd Carr losing. I feel like a traitor now, which is ironic since I still like Carr as Michigan's Head Coach.

I ignored the miscasting of Carr in the Meatnormous Division and went along with the ridiculous nature of these matches. And, in defense of my loyalty to Carr, my fight summary was more an indictment of the coaching staff and Michigan's recent performance in big games.

In real life, Carr would completely kick Weis's ass for the following reasons: 1) Weis is in dreadful shape 2) skinny guys fight till they're burger and Carr's the skinny guy here 3)Carr unleashing that fury he generally uses on officials would be a terrifying spectacle of mayhem.

Anonymous said...

Did I miss Mark Mangino???

He should be the "heavyweight" champion of the world in this event.

AUT83 said...

Alas, you have missed a few Big'uns in College coaching. Mark Mangino being the graf Zeppelin. Tracy Rocker, an assistant and Arkansas, and Al Borges, the OC at Auburn are also large and in charge.