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Saturday, February 25, 2006

Auburn Sorority Sisters Forced to Assume New Identities After Laughing at Bear Cartoons

(from M Zone wire reports) Montgomery, AL -- Fallout over the publication of the "Bear" Bryant cartoons continues to mount as Zeta Tau Alpha sorority sisters at Auburn University - Montgomery were forced into hiding after 'Bama fans learned they laughed at the infamous drawings.

As this photo clearly shows and the M Zone has confirmed, the entire AU-M Zeta Tau Alpha chapter has assumed new identities and entered the Witness Protection Program as of Thursday night. According to unnamed sources, the trouble started when Heather Anderson of Mobile, a sophomore pledge, said, "Um, like, those were pretty funny" after seeing the pictures on Michiganzone.net. Upon hearing of her "insensitive" remark, Brett Johnson, the Sigma Chi President at the University of Alabama put a $4.95 bounty on Ms. Anderson as well as "any of those other ZTA chicks."

When word of the threat reached their house, the ZTA sisters immediately went into hiding, even though they might have to miss Spring Formal '06 at the Montgomery Holiday Inn. Senior Lisa Kenowski, who already had a date lined up and her dress picked out, called it, "A devastating blow."

AU-M officials declined comment.


Anonymous said...

You all must be some bored folks.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

That just caps off the whole thread perfectly. Great job.

But, I'm wondering how many comments will be from 'Bama fans saying that's what Auburn girls really look like?

Peter Trainer said...

Um, they're like holding their Spring Formal at like the Motel 6. Like, Hello?

Yost said...


And BPD, re: Bama fans saying that's what AU girls look like, my first thought when I saw that picture was, "Oh, why is a Michigan sorority in the paper today?"

Anonymous said...

I was about to comment on that too. My roommate is Georgia and we took a roadtrip down to auburn to visit some of his friends. I've gotta tell you that there is no way these cows would ever make it into a sorority at a southern school unless they went underground. ugghh.

Anonymous said...

How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the ladder
1 to screw in the bulb
48 to make a t-shirt about it.

WIL 66 said...

As a 'Bama fan I laugh again at this effort that "y'all" have produced. However, this one does come up a little bit short. How so...both 'Bama and barners rag on AU-M as you call it. That's right AUM is actually Auburn University-Montgomery. It is not Auburn, but a measley affiliate of that ridiculous institution. As anon said, there is not way that these girls would be in a sorority at a "real" southern university, and he is correct. As hard as it is to admit, Auburn sorority girls look like super models compared to these Montgomerians. And can you imagine that, that these girls were too stupid to even get in to the real Auburn. Sad...truly sad.

Roll Tide

WIL 66 said...

Oh and one more thing, they couldn't laugh at the bear bryant pictures because they don't even know what football is. That's right, they don't even have a team. F***in hilarious.