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Friday, January 20, 2006

Michigan Brings Home Another National Title!

(From M Zone wire reports) Ann Arbor, MI -- After a 7-5 season on the football field, Michigan fans have to look for championships wherever they can find them these days. And we at the M Zone have found one for you:

Michigan alums Jason Coben and Nick Velissaris won the World Series of Beer Pong near Las Vegas earlier this month, collecting the $10,000 grand prize in the process. They beat out 160 others to claim the coveted title sponsored by BPong.com.

After being crowned the best of the best in this rugged competition, Coben and Velissaris said they will immediately start training for next year in an attempt to win again, going for the "two-peat."

Upon hearing this news, "Steve" at One-peat.ass became enraged claiming that too many people were not giving enough attention to him and his 20-something buddies crammed into their two bedroom Dallas apartment who sit around reading old copies of Maxim and talking about the hot girl in human resources who won't give them the time of day. Thus, "Steve" set out to raise $10,000 anonymously to put up a billboard proclaiming nothing of importance but making him feel he did something worthwhile for the first time since he got his buddy "Scooter" into his fraternity pledge class.

Luckily though, upon hearing the news of anonymous people asking for money, the crack investigative team at Baton Rouge TV station WBRZ dug into the story making sure to keep "Steve's" true identity hidden from the likes of The Riddler and Mister Freeze. Upon finding out absolutely nothing from his station's story that wasn't already posted on a website registered anonymously, WBRZ president Richard Manship said that was good enough for him and pledged $1,000 and any remaining journalistic integrity he might have left.


BaggyPantsDevil said...

Since this event was not sanctioned by the Phony LSU Fan Chapter of the Girls Gone Wild Aficionados Club it’s not a real championship. Besides, “Steve” has a mathematical formula—which is about 57 pages long—that shows that since he was able to win a round of beer pong against the sixteen year old hacker who set up onepeat.com for him while he managed to sneak off to the bathroom to gratify himself with one of his roommate’s year old copies of Maxim he would have easily beaten the two Michigan guys and is therefore the real Beer Pong Champion. Expect a billboard in Ann Arbor any day now.

CapBuck said...

Ahhh the college memories. Geez, that was only two years ago......