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Thursday, November 17, 2005

To Buckeye Visitors to this Site...



It has come to our attention that a number of Buckeyes are visiting the site today due to a link to us from the O-zone. From all of us here at the M Zone, we would just like to extend a very hearty "Welcome!"

A couple tips that might make your stay more enjoyable:

First, turn off the "crayon" font setting (or have your tutor do it for you). We know Buckeyes like to look at the computer in the same format as their term papers, but we've found that setting doesn't view correctly on most monitors.

Also, please limit your comments to 30 or so F-bombs. Now we understand that with your limited vocabulary skills, you like to insert that useful word as often as possible due to a lack of other choices, but remember: this isn't your grandmother's house so please try to cut back.

In addition, as you might have noticed, we have conveniently included a picture of Michigan fans and another of cars with Michigan plates right here in this post for you. So, make like you're at the 'Shoe and feel free to curse, spit and throw things at the picture of the fans -- just like the game was in Columbus this Saturday. Then, you can smash your computer screen as if it was the window of the car with Michigan plates (unfortunately we are unable to replicate a car antennae for you to snap in half. Our apologies).

Finally, when you're done reading, go ahead and set something on fire for the post-blog rioting! That way it will seem like it's right after the game and you'll almost be able to see the glow of the 'Shoe through the smoke.

Hope you find that helpful. But just remember not to hog the computer and to share the experience with the other members of your cellblock.

Have a nice day.

Sincerely,

The M Zone Staff

38 comments:

The King said...

Wow.

M82 said...

Still not sure what you're getting at here. Is it:

Michigan - good
Ohio State - bad

Or is it...? No, wait a min--

Dammit, still confused.

I'd better go read more of your ass-kicking blog,

M82

The King said...

I think it's more like, people who went to Michigan understand satire, and people who went to Ohio State get confused by it.

Yost said...

Well said, M82 and Loef.

I've noticed from the Buckeye boards that, unless they make reference to our "cornholes" or tell fellow Bucks to make sure they "bring butt plugs if they go to Ann Arbor this week" or simply insert a general "Go &^%$# youself you *&^%$# Michigan *&&^%$!!" in their posts, they don't find much humor in things.

mayday said...

I like how they all say they'd be horribly embarrassed to have such a poor sportsman as Lloyd be their coach -- you know, he goes so far beyond the pale yelling at officials and being grouchy with the press, and what kind of example is that for you little ones? -- as if there isn't a STATUE OF WOODY HAYES in front of their stadium.

Yost said...

Exactly, Mayday. Then there's Tressel, who always seems to be one NCAA investigation away from something fishy.

Screw The Blue said...

you guys are all a bunch of faggots... GO BUCKEYES

biakabutuka said...

ah yes, the rapier wit finally surfaces. Enjoy your common-law family, sir!

Yost said...

"Screw"

The typical class and mighty command of the English language by Buckeye fans shines through yet again. Thanks for the post. You prove our point better than we could ever hope to.

BaggyPantsDevil said...

LOL! Oh my God, that was just too funny. I have been desperately searching for a Michigan football message board that isn’t overrun with childish, misspelling and obscenity-laced posts from Ohio State fans.

I’ve only had time to read several posts here, but all have been intelligent, entertaining, and pretty close to my views on things concerning Michigan Football.

Anonymous said...

all buckeye fans want to commend coach carr for his outstanding accomplishments agianst coach tressel.he deserves a lifetime contract!

Anonymous said...

"Then there is Tressel, who seems to be one NCAA investigation away from something fishy"??? This is coming from a fan of a university who employed the likes of Chris Webber and the fraud five.

Yost said...

Here's the difference, Anon:

I despise those of the "Fab" Five that took money and/or cheated. Michigan forfeited its Final Four banners and other accolades gained during those years.

Will Tosu do the same for things won, say, during Clarett's stay? Let me guess, he didn't cheat, right?

Bucks fan said...

Yes, some of us Buckeye fans can get roudy, and upset, but MOST loyal Buckeye fans (myself included) have much RESPECT for Michigan, and their fans. It's born out of years of traditional rivalry. I'll say some Buckeye fans go over the top, but if you look at how many times (and ways) UM beat our beloved Bucks during the years under John Cooper (and don't get me wrong, Coop is an OUTSTANDING coach and we are proud he's a Buckeye, but Michigan always seemed to have his number). We usually had FAR superior teams, and some of them were undefeated, only to get our hopes and dreams broken by the Wolverines. We were even up under Woody and Earl Bruce. So we kind of feel like we owe you a few!!!

But regardless of what happens on the field between OSU and UM (we like to keep that in-house), we here in Columbus, ALWAYS support all of our BIG 10 brothers (including your Wolverines) when it comes to bowl games. You represent not only Michigan when you go to a bowl game, you also represent the rest of the Big 10.

California Buckeye said...

I love how the typical Michigan response to Buckeye comments harp on how backward the residents of OH are. This from the state who hasn't contributed anything meaningful to capitalism since the Model-T.

Take your GM buy-out, hit the Windsor strip clubs and come up with another 'funny' losers.

Anonymous said...

Michigan Football is dead. You are going down the shitter. Quit while you can. Fuck off and die.

Yost said...

Thanks for the kind words.

Anonymous said...

Here's my fledgling new blog dedicated to the big game. No registration required to post. Be nice... ;-)

http://michigan-ohio-state.college-football-forums.com/

Greg said...

Great work ... hilarious site. I am a Buckeye fan (OSU Law '00), but not a native Ohioan. As such, I enjoy the rivalry but am not consumed by it. So while I would never submit a comment like "Screw the Blue" did on November 17, I have to admit that I chuckled when I read it. Equally amusing, however, was biakabatuka's deft reply.

Anyway, thanks for unfurling the welcome mat for us fans of tOSU. I'll check back in five months from now after Cheatypants McSweatervest bamboozles Lloyd Carr for the fifth time in six tries. With any luck, the Bucks will score the winning touchdown as time expires, and the game will be named an Instant Classic by ESPN.

Yost said...

Greg,

Thanks for the comment. Always appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I love how us UM fans try to act like we're above tOSU fans as if they're a savages. Sure they're rude and obnoxious ... but so are we. I've never been to a UM/tOSU game in A2 without seeing a piece of tOSU paraphernalia in the urinals with a bunch of drunk UM fans immaturely urinating on it.. real mature and classy. The fact is, we hate you ... you hate us ... We shouldn't hide from it, embrace it and let the shit talking games begin.

breaston15 said...

Anonymous- oooo good one nice job trying to make it look like michigan fans are as unclassy as THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYE fans are. See i remember the word the. I might be harrassed for not saying THE.

bigo65 said...

Ohio State sucks balls and hasn't played anyones as of yet. Texas will end up with 3 losses this year and maybe be number 15 or 20 in the land...they are not very good this year. So enjoy your number one ranking. I'm actually glad you are ranked so high and hope you are undefeated still when you play us so we can be the number one team after we kick your asses. your defense is going to get shredded by Mike Hart. Mike Hart for heisman peace out losers. OSU overated.

bigo65 said...

Ohio State sucks balls and hasn't played anyones as of yet. Texas will end up with 3 losses this year and maybe be number 15 or 20 in the land...they are not very good this year. So enjoy your number one ranking. I'm actually glad you are ranked so high and hope you are undefeated still when you play us so we can be the number one team after we kick your asses. your defense is going to get shredded by Mike Hart. Mike Hart for heisman peace out losers. OSU overated.

Educated,Working,Non-drinking, respect other fans, OSUfan said...

First time visitor; Nice site. Do us a favor and don't get those weagles and elephants all riled up.Geez, it took a good 45 min or so to read all of that smack. I think maybe they might out-do OSU/UM. Can't wait for Nov. 18. P.S. The Buckeyes are not over-rated, they're just getting better and better.

Blue fan in FL. said...

Just fount the site, I LOVE IT . All you have to do when comparing The Maze and Blue with the F!#%ies is consider two things, first their mascot, A NUT, who has a nut for a mascot? And second, Look at the first 4 words in the fight songs, "Hail to the victors". GO BLUE!!!

Anonymous said...

you guys are the most mature bunch of UM fans i've read in a long while, but all your bitterness doesn't change the fact Carr is 1-4 against Tressel ... so enjoy your newly found fame after beating ND, who shouldn't even be ranked in the top 15 ... the fact is OSU is consensus number 1 and you still have to make an argument for being number 2 ... and you have to come to our house on Nov. 18, and the Bucks don't lose in here (unless you have Vince Young) ... so good luck, and don't try to be so nervous, if you get your butts kicked, it won't be the first time.

Annapolisbuckeye said...

Wow, you guys are tough. Again, like the mustache t-shirt, I just don't think I can take anymore.

These comments coming of course from the land of The Michigan Militia and other sources of great pride.

I did notice in the fan picture that the crowd is politely seated. Oh dear, maybe they will pull out their keys.

And as for the cell block comment, you're timing is impeccable. What with that wide receiver and all...didn't all that happen before the Penn State game?

See you on the 18th. Please, please get past Ball State undefeated.

Anonymous said...

One of my best friends is as rabid a wolverine fan as I am a buckeye fan. We are both well educated, enthusiastic fans of college football. While we indulge in a bit of good natured ribbing, we've never resorted to the ridiculous trash talking I see here, or on some Ohio State sites. The saddest thing about all of this is that no one talking any of this trash has any chance to back it up on the field. News Flash: the players and coaches have the ultimate say, on the field. I'm sick of classless Ohio state fans and Michigan fans acting like their mothers never taught them any manners. I'm looking forward to this game, to remind the rest of the country why this is the best rivalry in all of sports. Ohio State doesn't exist in the same way without Michigan, or vice versa. Act like adults, for a change will you!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Annapolis... i don't know what photo you happened to see, but all those Michigan fans are standing and cheering. Maybe your just a little confused because there are no grandmas throwing beer bottles or toddlers flipping off the opposing fans. That might just be it huh?

Anonymous said...

I won't say the Buckeye's aren't good, but I hate their fans. I live in Ohio and everytime I wear my U of M gear anywear I get the testimonial from every buckeye fan on why Michigan sucks. I hate the Comment "yeah, we kicked your ass last year.." Blah Blah Blah. That makes me want to say oh really you were playing, what number were you? I didn't see any fat bald fucks on the field. So this goes out to all cocky fans on both sides of the fence-It's only a game!! Get over it. Obnoxious Buckeye fans can lick my sweaty balls dry!

TGC said...

"The 5 Stages of Grief":

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Days since Michigan's last victory over Ohio State in football: 1093

Accept it. Don't be a "girly-man". Deal with it or get help.

- Tom OSU'62

TGC said...

Running back Mike Hart rushed for 142 yards and three TDs.

"Their defense played good (sic), but they’re not as good as people thought," Hart said. "There’s nothing special about that defense."

....................................

Try to schedule "HAVE A LITTLE CLASS 101" before you leave The University of Michigan, PUNK!

You'll still be a PUNK like Chris Perry after you get your NFL contract!

- Tom OSU'62

TGC said...

11/20/2006

And today Heisman Hopeful Mike Hart, after finishing 31st. in scoring in NCAA Division 1-A this season, continues his PUNK SMACK TALK with, "I guarantee if we play them again, it would be a whole different game," tailback Mike Hart said. "We should have got them the first time around. We didn't ... But if we played them again, it would be a whole different game. Guarantee that."

As an extra added attraction, LLLLLoyd questions the official's call.

http://www.bcsfootball.org/cfb/teamReport?categoryId=86059&type=InsideSlant

Yep! go blue

go_bucks_2002 said...

mayday said...
I like how they all say they'd be horribly embarrassed to have such a poor sportsman as Lloyd be their coach -- you know, he goes so far beyond the pale yelling at officials and being grouchy with the press, and what kind of example is that for you little ones? -- as if there isn't a STATUE OF WOODY HAYES in front of their stadium.

November 17, 2005 9:39 AM
Yost said...
Exactly, Mayday. Then there's Tressel, who always seems to be one NCAA investigation away from something fishy.

ok lets go over this. 1)there isnt a statue in front of ohio stadium of woody hayes. 2) The NCAA DID investigate and that punk Clarett got REALLY quiet when they questioned him. Jim Brown and Stephen A. Smith jumpped ship faster than rats off the Titanic when he didnt "ruin OSU" and didnt reveal the rest of the iceburg that we had only seen the tip of. Boy they were all ready to pile on when it was looking bad. But it turned out he was just a thug that we shouldnt have taken a chance on. The only reaon M!CH!G@N players dont get caught is because ANN ARBOR (the whore) is a small town and the police there are still able to be greased by the UofM big wigs (my uncle is a cop there). Here the Dispatch and TV LOVE to find problems, makes for good ratings. And lastly, I went to THE GAME in 2001 and had 2 beers thrown on me. Hmmmm, OSU fans are the only ones who do that right? WRONG. Its happened at PENN STATE AND MSU AND TEXAS. Ive also been verbally roughed up by UofM fans here. I was a student '96-'02 and blue fans would always say shit about 2-10-1 so dont act like it is only OSU fans. There are shitty fans of EVERY team. Usually they didnt go to that school and have 5 teeth so what do you expect.

ThisBuckLuvsAppSt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ThisBuckLuvsAppSt said...

Thanks for the warm welcome!

My tutor from Appalachian State just changed my font from the crayon setting - so glad I found one that wasn't hungover from sneaking in some moonshine to "dry" Boone, NC!! He and I enjoyed hearing the fans roar that stayed at the 'Shoe to watch your "proudest moment" play out.

You know that art institute that used to advertise in matchbook covers telling you if you could draw their stick-figure mouse, you could be their next undiscovered talent? I hear they're trying to schedule you as their home opening opponent next year...

Tressel and Nugent tell me that if you need help recruiting a kicker that can at least make one kick in football after Pop Warner league to give them a call. They hear that Clarett's girlfriend needs a job. Lord knows the 15 cents/hour he currently is under contract for won't feed his baby. Her leg's in great form from kicking herself for getting involved with him in the first place (and from kicking his a** when he couldn't even run a decent 40 in Denver).

Oh, yeah....Let your AD know that Clarett should be paroled just in time to take over for Carr (and trust me - we hate Clarett - AKA waaahhh - even more than you Wolverines do!). His "agent" (AKA "Maurice's Future Parole Officer") just hasn't had time to return his call since his he keeps getting calls from the Ann Arbor area since about 4pm Saturday. Just tell him to make sure his phone accepts collect calls from prison!!

See you all 11/17/07 - we will try to make Yosef stay in NC.

Go Mountaineers - and

GO BUCKS!!!!!!

bighayz11 said...

I just think it's hilarious that people dispute the intelligence and rude behavior of Buckeye fans. I am a die hard Ohio State fan, born and raised in Columbus. Everyone that isn't a Buckeye wonders why we riot and act the way we do towards Michigan fans. Well, if you are a true fan and you lived here your whole life then you would know that there isn't anything better than getting shiitfaced at eight in the morning and spending the rest of the day with a couple hundred thousand excited people with one thing in mind "Beating Michigan's Ass." Trust me, other than that and the amount of hott-ass women walking campus on a daily basis; there isn't anything else to be excited about in Columbus.

So, to all you "Buckeye Fan haterz", don't hate us for enjoying the only exciting things in our city. Scarlet and Grey is what we will always wear, we have more than enough tits and ass here to share...