Monday, November 07, 2005
Stumbled across this book online. Talk about the perfect stocking stuffer.
But just 303 Reasons? The author must have only been there for a very short amount of time, like for about 30 seconds. Or this must be Volume One...of a 10 part series.
In any event, allow me to help with a few more:
304: Their so-called fans will break out your car's windows if they see Michigan plates during the M/OSU weekend
305: Even elderly women will flip you off before, during and after the game.
306: The mascot guy with the big nut for a head will steal the Michigan banner out of a Michigan fan's hands then stomp on it right in front of him, thinking it's a hoot.
307: The chant inside the men's room at halftime is a chorus of drunken "F*ck Michigan!" cheers (but rarely "Go Bucks!").
308: The cops standing atop the stadium with their sniper rifles make the place look like a maximum security prison instead of a fun place for college football
309: White-trash rednecks pretty much suck in general
310: The glass place you call to fix your car's window after you woke up the morning of the game to find it busted out in the first place (even though you thought you were staying at a nice hotel a couple miles off the campus) will suddenly claim they're too busy to come out to replace the window when the "gentleman" on the phone finds out you're from Michigan.
311: Flying beer bottles aimed at anything Maize or Blue near the stadium on game days.
312: Spitting at our marching band as they enter the stadium.
313: Spitting at any Michigan fans as they walk near the stadium.
314: Having the Michigan team bus searched by bomb and drug sniffing dogs as they arrive on gameday...then lying and claiming they do it to everybody (which, of course, turns out to be false).
315: They justify all their boorish behavior by claiming, "It's the same for Ohio State fans when they're in Ann Arbor" when that isn't the case.
316: Sweater vests are for pussies.
Have a couple of your own to add? Please. Share with the class.
Posted by Yost at 3:07 AM